God is Good, Everytime.
When something traumatic happens, it is not uncommon to play it in your head over and over again. I will be playing Thursday, February 15 in my head over and over again for the rest of my life.
Bradley is a healthy 2 year old and Thursday was just another day, we dropped off Nova for day care and we were getting ready for swim lessons. Bradley was watching Blippi on the couch as I was gathering our stuff. I came downstairs and started to change his diaper when I noticed he was starring up. I tried getting his attention. I noticed his whole body locked up and I realized he was having a seizure. His breathing got slower and slower and he started to turn blue, which is when I called 911. While I was on the phone with dispatch, Bradley lost consciousness. What felt like forever lasted about a minute.
The dispatcher was great and was on the phone with me until first responders got there. It took them 3 minutes to get to the house, which is amazing. As they were gettting there Bradley started to breathe again, change color, and wake up.
He was very lethargic and out of it. I have always heard that after someone experiences a seizure, they are very tired because it takes a toll on the body. That is how he was acting. The firefighters asked me questions as they checked on my boy. The paramedics then arrived and said we would go to CHOA.
As I walked out of the house and saw Bobby, I almost came a part, but knew I needed to hold it together since I would be in the ambulance with Bradley. It just did not feel real. Watching the life leave his face did not feel real. After having him in my life for two years, I just thought this could not be it. It all still does not feel real.
While we were in the ER part of CHOA, Bradley had two more seizures. After the last one, we learned that he would be moved to ICU. I was breaking. I almost broke.
Adrenaline is a wild part of our body. It was coursing through my veins from when the first seizure happened until the third one. Up and down, up and down. It is a weird feeling.
God always has a reason for everything. Instead of thinking why Bradley? I prayed. I prayed all day. Praying for his health and for answers. Praying that this was not his time to be called home. It is hard in those times not to think this is it or to be fearful. Yes, I knew God was there, but I still feared the unknown.
Once we were made it to the ICU, he had another seizure, but it was the shortest of them all. At this time, my family, Bobby's parents, and one of my best friends were in the waiting room. I lost it in my mom and sisters arms because I just didn't understand what was going on or why.
We learned that his glucose level was low,
his sodium level was low, and he was dehydrated. He also had Rhinovirus which is a common cold for adults, but hits kids hard. Since it was not common for him to have seizures and he had more than one, neuro wanted to monitor his brain for 24 hours. He was hooked up to fluids and an EEG machine. They planned on getting an MRI the next day as well.
Luckily, Bradley had no more seizures throughout the night and since the EEG was showing no activity they decided to take it off early, which helped get the MRI faster. The MRI showed normal. The Dr. did not seemed concerned and neither did the neurologist. He thinks that the combination of the illness and low levels is what caused the seizures. He said this is something we can tuck in the back of our heads, but now we know what to do if it happens again. He couldn't say for sure if it would happen again. He said of course if he has a seizure again to come back in, but I am praying and hoping we never experience this again.
Writing out my thoughts and feelings have always seemed to help me understand what has happened, but with this one it has been hard for me to wrap my head around. The night we were there I could not sleep because every time I closed my eyes I kept replaying the day over and over. I kept seeing his little face and body in distress. I kept seeing him leave his body. I felt sick to my stomach. The adrenaline was wearing off and my body felt it. Although, I may never understand why this happened, I know that God is good and He shines through any difficult situation. Different things happened that day that showed me He was prepared and that He was with us. I will continue to pray that Bradley heals and we never have to go through this again. I also pray for all of the families that are in the ICU and that they find the strength to get through it too. May God embrace them and heal those babies.
We have an incredible family and support system. Our prayer warriors went to work right away. I never have to question if we are loved. They all dropped what they were doing to be by our sides or pray for us. Bobby and I are grateful for all of the first responders, emergency services, nurses, and drs that helped us on the scariest day(s) of our life. Thank you, God for allowing us more time with our son.
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